The Cream of the Crap! The 5 WORST horror films of 2018!!!
- Jimmy Ray
- Feb 27, 2019
- 3 min read
Ah the time is nigh once again to highlight some of the most atrocious pieces of horror cinema from last year. Just as in the "best of" list, there will be some grumbling and disagreement. Please know that while these are my opinions, I am VERY tolerable of much of the horror genre. To make this list, they have to truly and undeniably...well, suck. Let the raking through the muck commence and see which films I think blow, buttered popcorn flavored chunks!
*NOTE: Though I truly despise Uncork'd and companies like them, I will NOT highlight their films here. The fact that they are deplorable is a given and I will not give them anymore "screen time".
5. BLACK CREEK
Sharp horror fans will be able to tell from the above screenshot just how bad this film is. Cheap, poorly acted, hell I am surprised Uncork'd didn't distribute this one. An ancient evil spirit possesses a group of friends who have no business out in the deep woods. Blah blah blah. We've seen this done before and much better. A student film project would be better.
0/5 stars
4. FOREST OF LOST SOULS
This film contains something I cannot stand, incorrectly filmed black and white. For some reason modern filmmakers feel this ode to the past transform's their shitty films into 'art'. Not so! This film is boring and tedious, makes zero sense and contains maybe the worst character chemistry ever.
0/5 stars
3. STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT
Look, the first film may not have been a masterpiece of terror but it still entertained and provided some actual suspense. This sequel finds our dime store mask wearing cretins terrorizing another family. I hear it took awhile to come up with that premise. Every single aspect of the original film has dropped and the entire production is laughable the same way Wrong Turn 5's obvious fake looking set pieces were. Choreography, dialogue, acting and pacing are all shoddy as hell wrapped in an Uncork'd style production wrapper. Blechhhh!
So bad it's almost fun to laugh at.
2/5
2. CHILDREN OF THE CORN: RUNAWAY
Genesis, the previous CORN film was actually pretty good so I had high hopes for this one and touted it on my ORIGINAL REEL HORROR FB GROUP. After all John Gulager, son of the great Clu Gulager was on board and having helmed the maniacally entertaining Feast (2005) and it's lesser but kooky and fun sequels, he couldn't miss. Well, not only did he miss the toilet, he pissed all over Auntie Mae's rhubarb pie in the fridge! This film couldn't be worse. Dingy, nonsensical, poorly acted and by far the worst in the fledgling series. So bad, I will not give Gulager another chance.
0/5
1. DEATH HOUSE
Ironically, in a technical sense, DH is NOT the worst horror film of the year. In fact with a cast of unknowns, low budget and a smidge of imagination, this film could have worked as a campy, cheesy piece of fun horror fluff. HOWEVER...!!!!!!!! Quite simply this film is the biggest ripoff on horror fans ever and the biggest let down. Not only that, marketing for the film was inane almost as if they knew they had a stinker and were hesitant to mass release. Death House is a joke, a travesty for what it misrepresented and every last one of the horror icons that appeared in it should hang their collective, washed-up heads in shame.
The rest of the worst:
THE OPEN HOUSE was a rare Netflix venture that was boring, nonsensical and contained a horrible ending, PRIMAL RAGE would have been fun to laugh at had it been presented that way, but the filmmakers tried to go the serious route and ended up with tree bark wearing bigfoot who has a sexual lust and penchant for human females. Poorly done and laughable. MOCKINGBIRD showed us how boring and just plain bad found footage can be. THE RAKE is a stupid uncork'd clone that should never have been made. His royal weirdness and all around dipshit, Corey Feldman cemented yet another embarassing notch on his resume as the nasty, ugly transvestite thing in CORBIN NASH. Another shoddy production, #HORROR didn't even have a good title. DAY OF THE DEAD: BLOODLINE is watchable but couldn't be further from Romero's groundbreaking original. HOLLOW BODY tries hard by casting Luke Wilson and David Arquette in a strange hybrid of rock and horror but it falls flat. THE ROW was (yawn)...another slasher snooze-fest. ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING should have stayed under the damn tree. Stupid and cheap anthology. Both THE NUN and SLENDERMAN may not have been horrible but were still huge letdowns.
Well...that's my take. What did you think and what are your own picks?
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