Here we go again folks, 3 new and 3 old films reviewed. Did you like these movies? Really? well, delve on to see what I thought about this MIXED bag!
THE JACK IN THE BOX (2020)
2/5
When a museum is donated a vintage Jack-In-The-Box, it's not long before staff member Casey starts to think that the creepy clown doll inside has a life of its own. As he discovers his colleagues are dying, one by one, Casey realizes it's up to him to find a way to end the nightmare or become another victim of the box's curse. Jack In The Box is a promise of jaw-dropping horror that does not deliver.
Y'know, the premise is cool and Jack in the boxes are scary af when you think of that pop goes the weasel music and him popping out. In capable hands, this could have been good but this amateur, low budget production just doesn't nail anything. You may be able to sit through it but you'll wish you hadn't.
DELIVERED (2020)
2.5/5
The life of a pregnant woman changes drastically because of something that threatens to steal her baby.
Imagine if you will that Hulu decided to combine the films Inside and Misery with emphasis on the latter (Complete with the hobbling scene!) and air it on their 'Into the Dark' anthology series. Now imagine that Tina Majorino pulls off her best Annie Wilkes impersonation in an unoriginal film that still manages to be somewhat entertaining. Well imagine no longer...it happened and this is it. Have fun!
DREAMKATCHER (2020)
3/5
In this terrifying horror-thriller, Gail (Radha Mitchell, Silent Hill) is forced to come to terms with Josh, her new stepson, at a remote country home. After stealing an evil talisman from a mysterious neighbor, Josh has sinister dreams of his dead mother--who commands Josh to murder Gail. When Josh's dad (Henry Thomas, "The Haunting of Hill House") returns, he and Gail suspect that their son has been possessed by an ancient, bloodthirsty spirit. Is it too late to save Josh's life--or their own?
Well, this is just one big hot mess. There is a rough premise here that could hold water if the performances were up to snuff. The production is good and that helps but the damn tropes just keep getting in the way. The whole step-parent watches the kid in a remote house while dad is working for a few days is exactly the same as THE LODGE but to better effect in that film. Despite some creepy moments, the actors just fell flat on this one. Henry Thomas is completely useless, unlikable, and redundant. Amazing he gets any work at all. Dude you were the kid in E.T...get over it! Poor Lin Shaye is always fun to watch but more and more she presents a caricature of herself that has been present for more than a decade. It was almost painful watching her recite her lines and stumble through the same character she always portrays. Radha Mitchell is the bread and butter here, a wonderful actor and scream queen that can make the dreariest subject matter somehow worthwhile. While she elevates the film she cannot lift it beyond just entertaining enough to watch. A flawed but good film with a lot of wasted potential.
FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (2007)
3.5
What was to be a simple flight from L.A. to Paris turns deadly when a genetically engineered zombie virus breaks out within the cabin of a fateful 747 jumbo jet in Flight of the Living Dead. Unbeknownst to the passengers and crew, a CIA scientist has stowed away a package on the flight that will endanger the lives of everyone on board. As the plane makes its way through some heavy storm clouds, the package is jostled and a secret government zombie experiment is unleashed on the plane, infecting everything in its wake. Soon, every living being on the jet is fighting for their lives as the ravenous, gut-munching monsters give them little places to hide aboard this dreaded flight.
Very fun and entertaining flick! Most folks don't give this one a shot because of the lame title but there's some really good stuff here. The zombie effects and attacks are okay but the real crux here is are the quirky characters and fast pacing. This is a popcorn flick pure and simple, but a damn good one.
BOTCHED (2007)
4/5
A professional thief finds his luck going from bad to worse when he's sent to Russia to steal a priceless antique crucifix and becomes the terrified target of a serial killer who takes the title of "headhunter" all too seriously. Career larcenist Ritchie Donovan (Stephen Dorff)'s latest job has just ended in tragedy, and he still owes a fortune to a fearsome Russian godfather. Fortunately for Ritchie, the crime kingpin is feeling especially benevolent today and offers the luckless cat burglar one last chance to settle his debt. All Ritchie has to do is travel to Moscow, ascent a skyscraper penthouse, crack the safe, and steal an antique crucifix. It couldn't have been a simpler plan, but when the robbery ends in murder and police surround the building, Ritchie and the gang are forced to take hostages. Just as it begins to appear as if all hope is lost, the elevator that Ritchie and his fellow gangsters are traveling on comes to a complete stop on the building's unused thirteenth floor. But landing on the thirteenth floor of this building may not have been the lucky break it first appeared, because lying in wait on the hidden level is a serial killer with a knack for collecting heads. He makes no secret of his hobby either because his gruesome trophies line these seldom-wandered halls like a nightmarish testament to the ultimate gamesman. With the cops closing in from below, psychotic Russian gangsters on all sides, panicked hostages freaking out, and a homicidal maniac somewhere too close for comfort, all Ritchie cares about now if getting his feet back on the ground before he loses his head.
This film is a hoot, filled with crazy characters and outlandish scenarios and sly humor as well. It's gory and out there but the entertainment is solid. The film opens with a diamond heist gone wrong and ends up in a Moscow office building house of horrors. The low-budget works here as most of the action takes place on an unfinished floor. The character interactions are pricelessly funny at times yet the film never delves into satire choosing to play it straight amidst the humor very much like Return of the Living Dead did. Highly entertaining, mindless fun...check it out today.
Blood Car (2007)
2.5/5
Alex Orr's dark comedy Blood Car stars Mike Brune as Archie Andrews, a mild-mannered elementary teacher attempting to beat the high cost of gasoline (forty bucks a gallon) by creating a car that runs on something other than traditional petrol. He makes large purchases of wheatgrass from a young store clerk (Anna Chlumsky) who has a crush on the teacher. However, when he discovers that his new invention runs best on human blood, Archie suddenly becomes involved with a woman who does not share his or the store-clerks environmental beliefs.
I won't lie to you, Blood Car is NOT a great film. It is ultra-low budget, clumsy, badly edited at times but damn there is some pure craziness in this film. Kids shot in the head, baby thrown in car grinder, sex scenes galore. Besides Anna Chlumsky is so damn cute and her hardcore sketch has to be seen to be appreciated. Total tossup here.
Well that's the tally, you whackers! See ya next time!